Framed for Success: Choosing Glasses That Are Aligned with My Values

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You remember those teen movies where some chick got a makeover because she realized guys would only be interested in her if she were "pretty" and "cool" and didn't wear glasses? Well, when it came to picking out new specs, my goal was to look like the "before" version of all of them; before they dyed their hair, exchanged their backpack for a purse, bared their midriff and swapped their glasses out for contacts. In fact, that's what I told the sales guy at the glasses store. Well, to be precise, I said, "Hi. I'm looking for 70's/80's Ugly Chic. I wanna look like someone's before picture." He understood. This is LA.

Because I value creativity, playfulness and humor, I wanted to choose glasses that made me look like I'm kinda-sorta kidding; I wanted frames that helped me to see the world around me, but didn't make me look too hard at it. I wanted to invest in eye wear that encouraged the "lightness" in me and reminded me to be playful, both in thought and action, since levity and horseplay aren't what I naturally resort to when the contents of my mind are littered with insecurity, stress or doubt.

So, here are the glasses I chose; they make me so happy and so giggly and if you've read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, AND/OR my blog posts about it, these glasses spark so much joy, I feel like my soul's on fire when I wear them. Get it? Spark? Ha.

Oh, yea, forgot to mention I also got bangs and they are a mess and kind of unmanageable and I love them. 

As I dive deeper, kinda, into who I am as a Creative Entrepreneur, writer, counselor, teacher, whatever, I realize that having fun is the most important part. Having grown up as an only child, where I had the freedom of binge-watching Lifetime Movies, it's easy and natural for me to look at my life with a serious set of eyes, which is useful, for sure. However, it's time to give fun to where fun is due. And right now...it's due on my face.

What has sparked joy for YOU lately? How are you having fun?

Wholeheartedly,

Erica

*Photos & hair by, Alexia Bernal

I Remem...

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"I remem..." By, Erica Jacobs

I remember when I didn't have a cell phone

and I wasn't sexually active

and life was simpler,

maybe. 

When I'd read storybooks to my stuffed animals,

present each page like my teacher did 

at school. 

I remember wedding albums;

my Parents',

her parents',

their parents'. 

I wanted that 

I want that. 

I remember my Belle and Beast

figurines

dancing at their pretend wedding

on top of my boom box

to "The Hustle".

I wanted a floor length gown, too;

but not yellow. 

I remember the first time I weighed myself 

100lbs. 

Is that too high? 

It's too high. 

Right?

The Cinnamon Toast Crunch

so high up, too high up.

I remember the loudness 

of the step stool.  

Bowl

after bowl

after bowl

after bowl. 

I remember sleepovers 

"Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board" 

"Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board"

I'm anything 

but light as a feather. 

I remember the first time

I stopped 

when I was full

Waited to feel hungry again. 

And I did feel hungry again

so I ate. 

Stopped when I felt full. 

Eat. 

Stop. 

Repeat. 

Eat. 

Stop. 

Repeat. 

Eat. 

Talk. 

Stop. 

Repeat. 

Eat. 

Watch TV. 

Laugh. 

Stop. 

Still hungry. 

Eat. 

Repeat. 

I remember what it took

to slow down,

to listen,

to chew,

to breathe. 

Food,

turns out,

is just food. 

So I focus

on other things;

I still want a floor length gown,

a white one. 

And a cake. 

And a groom. 

And a wooden floor

where we dance the Hustle. 

You remember 

where I'm going with this...

Wholeheartedly,

Erica

The DIVA CUP Diaries

So there I was, squatting over the hand-held mirror, that I usually use to see the back of my head when I do my hair, sweating, trying to figure out how the hell this damn thing works. It can't be this complicated, I angrily mumble to myself. I'm familiar with these parts, I reassure myself, as I'm huddled in a crouching-tiger, hidden-vagina pose, with a silicone cup in one hand and a book of directions in the other. "Take a comfortable position: standing, sitting on the toilet, or squatting. Relax your vagina muscles. Insert the Diva Cup, aiming it horizontally towards your tailbone. Grip the base of the cup and rotate until you hear a suction sound..."  #LikeImADamnPlunger

I can't deal with this right now. I hear my phone chime from the other room. I know it's my best friend, checking in to see if I was able to figure it out. I open the bathroom drawer and unwrap a trusty Tampax tampon, do the thing, wash my hands and text her back: I had to take a break. But I'm gonna try again tonight after Yoga and a shot of vodka.

G-d dammit am I the only independent, self-sufficient, menstruating modern women who cannot figure out how to use the Diva Cup?!

Here's the thing, I love my period. As long as I'm not in India or staying at a friend's house or doing Yoga or required to talk to anyone or eat at a buffet or horny or doing anything remotely physical, I really don't mind menstruating. The only time I didn't enjoy my cycle was when I was eleven, twelve, thirteen and fourteen; the years of the pad. Wings or no wings, I'd always come home with ruined underwear, stained Board Shorts/Skorts and soiled dignity. In high school, when I switched to tampons, and no longer needed to wear a diaper (with wings), life seemed better and I felt more grown up...if by grown up that meant that I'd be allowed to carry a purse full of tampons and sprint to the bathroom every 45 minutes on days 2 & 3 of my period, during school.

In any case, as a twenty-nine year old grown-ass women, I've considered myself to be an expert of my own body, in control of my flow and have really nailed it when it comes to tampons. But none of that matters now, because as it turns out, tampons are so last month and the Diva Cup is in. (Well, it seemed to be in everyone except me.)

To anyone who has not yet tried the Diva Cup and is curious about it, it is a small latex-free, BPA-free silicone cup that is designed to "catch" the contents of your uterus and is held in place for up to 12 hours at which point it is removed, rinsed off and re-inserted. The process is repeated for the duration of your period. (Kinda gives "rinse & repeat a WHOLE new meaning.)After your cycle comes to an end, you simply boil the Diva Cup, store it in its drawstring carrying case and tuck it away, until next time. Since it is reusable, it is better for the environment and saves a lot of money on sanitary products.

Here are some suggestions and things I've discovered in the last 24 hours about the cup, my vagina, and how, after a yoga class, a shot of vodka and encouraging affirmations, I don't see myself ever going back to tampons...

1) BUY THE CORRECT SIZE- There are two sizes of the Diva Cup; size 1 & size 2. Size 1 is for women under the age of 30 whom have never given birth. Without reading the box, I accidentally bought Size 2 at first, because I thought the size had to do with flow. But. It doesn't. So I had to go back the next day and buy the Size 1. But at least I'll have the other size for next year or after I have babies, when my vagina is merely a patchwork of what it used to be. 

2) ONCE ITS INSERTED CORRECTLY, DON'T MESS WITH IT for least 8 hours. As long as there are no leaks, only take it out in the morning, afternoon and before bed to wash it and re-insert it.

3) TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW about the Diva Cup. Tell the cashier at Whole Foods, tell your neighbors, talk about it with your friends. Go into detail. Laugh about it. It's funny! The best thing about the Diva Cup, other than the fact you can 'Set it and forget it", is that there's NO smell! No longer do my bathroom visits smell like I chopped up a family member into little bits and then sprinkled those bits over a bed of Romain lettuce, topped it with ranch, let it sit for 4 days and then served it to another family member. I forget where I was going with that...

WARNING: If you are not a Gynecologist by profession, you will be one, by trade, after using this product. The Diva Cup is not for the faint of heart...or the faint. You'll get to know yourself in a way you haven't before, so be sure to take yourself to dinner after your first Diva Cup experience.

That's really all I have to say about the Diva Cup, friends. If you need me, I'll be wandering the aisles of Whole Foods & Target wearing my Diva Cup with confidence, while subtly humming my new parody, "Knock Knock Knockin' on Cervix Door". Karaoke anyone?

Wholeheartedly,

Erica

Diva Cup user essentials.

Trying Not to Lose My Crystals: A Winter Solstice Ceremony

Last night I attended a last minute Winter Solstice ceremony at my dear friend, Courtney's, house. As the story goes, Courtney had been meditating in the bathtub at around 7pm and received a "message" to hold a small Winter Solstice ceremony in her living room...for the following hour. So, when I received her text about something to do with intentions and manifestation and essential oils and candles and crystals, and wine, I turned off my oven, left my partially-cooked spaghetti squash to fend for itself, got in the car and drove my little hippy ass 45 minutes over to her.

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I arrived at Courtney's home, where she had created an alter for the ceremony, in the center of her and her husband's studio apartment. The table was adorned with crystals and gems, evergreen branches, candles, and a painting of her favorite stone. Each element intentional and so, so beautiful.

Crystals are to Courtney, what oils are to me. I've never really gotten into using crystals as tools for healing and living, in general. Essential Oils and Yoga are about as granola as I've gotten and I'm very selective about my weirdness. But since Courtney is wildly talented and owns her own handmade, one-of-a-kind jewelry company, I'm slowly but surely getting down with the quartz and the pyrite...

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So, here's how we did the Solstice thing...

Each person gets their own candle (preferably a white one)

You can add anything you want to the top of the candle, but we used:

1) 1 drop of a therapeutic-grade essential oil blend (that I'd LOVE to tell you about in a private email. Because I can't tell you my company name on my blog. Because FDA).

2) A tiny rosebud: rose is the highest frequency flower in the essential oil and healing world. It represents the purest love and emits the highest vibration. So, that's cool.

3) Pyrite: for abundance, grounding and protection

4) Amethyst: known as the "stone of sobriety" to help clear the mind and keep focus & clarity

5) Silver: just for a touch of magic...I think.

6) Good, good, good, good vibrations

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We then took a small strip of paper and wrote down our intentions, desires and wishes for the new year. You can keep it as minimal and simple or elaborate and loaded as you like. Write one word, or write a hundred words. My suggestion: when brainstorming all the things you want to manifest in your life, think about how you want to FEEL in your life, before you think about what you want to DO in it. (More to come on this loaded topic, but for now, just do that.)

We lit our candle with a match and then burned the piece of paper, holding all our hopes and intentions for the year ahead, because a ceremony isn't a ceremony if you don't light something on fire. Am I right?

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As an early birthday gift to me, (which is on January 6th FYI), Courtney sent me home with a huge hunk of rose quartz because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna wanna go ahead and get married someday soon, and rose quartz is good for attracting love, so...

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I will use the large stone to cleanse and "charge" my new rose quartz necklace from HabitationCo.!

Even if you're not into the "Winter Solstice Woo-Woo", this ritual is a really grounding, clarifying and fun way to ring in the new year or a new chapter in your life.

What rituals or traditions do you do??

Wholeheartedly,

Erica

Getting Dressed With Erica: A Stitch-Fix Story

 

Once upon a time, in a dressing room (next door to yours, probably) a young woman, named Erica, sit naked, sobbing on the floor. No matter how hard she tried, she could never find clothes that complemented her waist, hugged her strong legs the right way or flattered her loving arms. Ever. WHY is this so easy for everyone else?! WHY do jeans look great on EVERYONE in the entire world, except me?! she cried. In her closet, she had lots of clothes, in all kinds of sizes and styles, based on what her body looked like any given month or year. Previous years of chronic dieting and binge eating had caused her body (and the way she felt in it) to fluctuate.

Though her relationship with food had drastically improved, her body image often held her back from getting dressed. Yoga pants, leggings and over-sized shirts were go-to and kept her sane and safe.

One day, Erica's BFF told her to read a book called, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. So she did. And basically the book told her to get rid of anything that didn't "spark joy". So, she did that, too. She dismantled her kitchen, and tore through her photo albums and old greeting cards.  She parted ways with books that no longer socially or intellectually served her. And then, she addressed her wardrobe...

  

Erica got rid of most everything and she was left with just a few pieces that did indeed spark joy. But that was only the first step. Not only was she to part ways with the clothes that no longer served her in the present, she needed a new method, a new attitude and a clear intention for the future of her closet.

To keep it simple for herself, Erica set a very practical and easy intention:

"to cultivate joy, femininity and comfort in a carefully edited and stylish wardrobe"

One day, as she was scrolling through her social media, (which was kind of all-day occurrence), Erica stumbled upon a company named Stitch-Fix: Clothing and accessories hand-selected by a personal stylist, delivered to your door. 

For reals? Erica thought. Sweet. She filled out the profile on the website, punched in her credit card number, which she had memorized, and scheduled her first clothing "fix" for the following week. She even dropped a little note to her stylist:

She tried each item on in the comfort of her own home, armed with all the tools needed to try on clothes in a sane and joyful way: Natural light, a full-length mirror, and LOTS of room to frolic in the frocks and dance in the denim. She kept what worked for her and sent the rest back.

She scheduled her next fix for the following month:

So far, Erica not only enjoys Stitch-Fix, but is now able to see the value in wearing clothes that tell the story of how she feels about herself, any given day. Her body image slowly but surely improves each time she goes to her closet, knowing that EVERY item in there, fits the body she has today. She's still the young naked women in the dressing room, only her dressing room is her own home and she isn't sobbing anymore. But she's still naked a lot of the time..which is fine, also.

The End.

---

some logistics:

if Stitch-Fix is something that might bring peace to your shopping process, here are 7 things that I have found helpful in my experience so far...

1) If you're hippy-dippy-kinda like me, maybe set a simple intention for what you value/want in your wardrobe. nothing fancy or out there, just think about what you want your closet to represent to you.

2) It often takes a few shipments for you and your stylist to find a rhythm. So, give it a few tries!

3) create a style board on  Pinterest, to help your stylist get an idea of who you are! be sure to pin the styles/colors/fabrics/patterns/"mood" of your desired wardrobe. pin all kinds of things from all kinds of places! also, be sure to name it something pleasant :) Here's mine.

4) only keep things from your shipment that spark joy, make you feel & look amazing, and are in line with what you value in a wardrobe.

5) do not feel discouraged, apologetic or guilty for returning anything (or everything) your stylist has picked for you. this is their job. you will gain nothing buy purchasing something just because you don't want to be a 'difficult' shopper.

6) remember: this is not the be all and end all of shopping for clothes. this is just one option of so many!

7) have fun! Go on! get dressed! go out! mmmmbyyyeeee